If You're Going To Yell, Do It In Tenor!

Thought this story deserved blogification: My wife and I have cell phones, and we have unlimited mobile-to-mobile minutes, so we talk pretty well every day at least at some point. We have been having a problem with her phone, where when she is talking to someone, it will disconnect. And it's not the cell phone service, because she can be sitting in a high-service area, and not move, and it will disconnect - this happens in almost every conversation that lasts over five minutes, and it frustrates me (and her) every time it happens. The other day I was driving on the interstate and trying to call to check my voicemail, but I was in a dead zone so I couldn't get a good signal. Then a couple of minutes later, I got in, and while checking messages I got an incoming call from my wife which I answered. We talked for a few minutes when all of a sudden I heard the *bloopity bloop* sound which means we were disconnected. I held the phone out in front of me and yelled at it - but this was no ordinary yell. It was more of an opera singing yell, and it went like "PIEEEECE OF CRAP TELEPHOOOOOONE!". After my solo, I looked at the phone and the display said: "Call Time: 01:24" and it was counting upwards. Placing the phone to my ear, I whispered a confused "hello?" to which my wife replied "ummm, hello...?" I had been disconnected from my voicemail after having taken the other call, and my wife was the unfortunate victim of my opera-singing rage.

Signs That You Went To Bed Too Late And/Or Didn't Sleep Enough:

How do you determine you haven't had enough sleep (or that you went to bed too late)?:

• You wake up with the taste of fresh toothpaste still in your mouth
• You are suddenly startled awake, and you find yourself in a desk; there is a blank piece of paper in front of you and a pen in your hand. After looking around a bit, you realize you're in the middle of an "assignment" in "english class".
• You fight to keep your eyes open, but you look really stupid because all you're actually doing is raising up your eyebrows - your eyes are still half closed.
• Every person on your Instant Messenger and ICQ list has an away status.
• You have yawccups (you yawn uncontrollably about once every 30 seconds)

Hmm, Most People Just Hang Up!

Names in the following correspondence have been replaced to protect the innocent, annoying fools that plague me every single day without rest. Forgive my grammatical slaughterhouse, but I'm typing it as it was said in an attempt to relay the tone of the message. Message 1: "Ummm hello Travis this is Gunther over at Jimmy's Cosmetics and Kayak Depot - listen we're having a problem with our email server not connecting it's giving us errors and I've tried both email servers you gave me but neither of them are working. Give me a call back it's an emergency." Message 2 - three minutes later: "... *shuffle* ... *click*." Message 3 - yet three minutes later: " ... *click*." Message 4 - three minutes later, again: "... *shuffle* ... *shuffle* ... *click*." Now let it be known that we have a fairly long message on our answering machine, long enough that it would not be hard for a person to logically reason out the fact that they are listening to an answering machine message, and decide whether or not they want to leave a message before the beep. Normally I just hang up before I hear the beep, I don't much like listening to answering machine messages, but I guess I can't speak for our friend Gunther here. Oh and then I came into work, got here at 9:00 exactly, and he calls again to tell me he's been "trying to get a hold of me!", to which I said "okay, well, here I am" in a not-so-subtle "dude, you have managed to annoy me and it's only 9:00" voice. As many things that happen to me are, it was one of those "had to be there" things, just be glad that you weren't.