If You're Going To Yell, Do It In Tenor!

Thought this story deserved blogification: My wife and I have cell phones, and we have unlimited mobile-to-mobile minutes, so we talk pretty well every day at least at some point. We have been having a problem with her phone, where when she is talking to someone, it will disconnect. And it's not the cell phone service, because she can be sitting in a high-service area, and not move, and it will disconnect - this happens in almost every conversation that lasts over five minutes, and it frustrates me (and her) every time it happens. The other day I was driving on the interstate and trying to call to check my voicemail, but I was in a dead zone so I couldn't get a good signal. Then a couple of minutes later, I got in, and while checking messages I got an incoming call from my wife which I answered. We talked for a few minutes when all of a sudden I heard the *bloopity bloop* sound which means we were disconnected. I held the phone out in front of me and yelled at it - but this was no ordinary yell. It was more of an opera singing yell, and it went like "PIEEEECE OF CRAP TELEPHOOOOOONE!". After my solo, I looked at the phone and the display said: "Call Time: 01:24" and it was counting upwards. Placing the phone to my ear, I whispered a confused "hello?" to which my wife replied "ummm, hello...?" I had been disconnected from my voicemail after having taken the other call, and my wife was the unfortunate victim of my opera-singing rage.

Signs That You Went To Bed Too Late And/Or Didn't Sleep Enough:

How do you determine you haven't had enough sleep (or that you went to bed too late)?:

• You wake up with the taste of fresh toothpaste still in your mouth
• You are suddenly startled awake, and you find yourself in a desk; there is a blank piece of paper in front of you and a pen in your hand. After looking around a bit, you realize you're in the middle of an "assignment" in "english class".
• You fight to keep your eyes open, but you look really stupid because all you're actually doing is raising up your eyebrows - your eyes are still half closed.
• Every person on your Instant Messenger and ICQ list has an away status.
• You have yawccups (you yawn uncontrollably about once every 30 seconds)

Hmm, Most People Just Hang Up!

Names in the following correspondence have been replaced to protect the innocent, annoying fools that plague me every single day without rest. Forgive my grammatical slaughterhouse, but I'm typing it as it was said in an attempt to relay the tone of the message. Message 1: "Ummm hello Travis this is Gunther over at Jimmy's Cosmetics and Kayak Depot - listen we're having a problem with our email server not connecting it's giving us errors and I've tried both email servers you gave me but neither of them are working. Give me a call back it's an emergency." Message 2 - three minutes later: "... *shuffle* ... *click*." Message 3 - yet three minutes later: " ... *click*." Message 4 - three minutes later, again: "... *shuffle* ... *shuffle* ... *click*." Now let it be known that we have a fairly long message on our answering machine, long enough that it would not be hard for a person to logically reason out the fact that they are listening to an answering machine message, and decide whether or not they want to leave a message before the beep. Normally I just hang up before I hear the beep, I don't much like listening to answering machine messages, but I guess I can't speak for our friend Gunther here. Oh and then I came into work, got here at 9:00 exactly, and he calls again to tell me he's been "trying to get a hold of me!", to which I said "okay, well, here I am" in a not-so-subtle "dude, you have managed to annoy me and it's only 9:00" voice. As many things that happen to me are, it was one of those "had to be there" things, just be glad that you weren't.

Hey! Lady! Take Out That Potato And Put Your Brain Back In!

True Story, part 1 of 1: My wife and I were at Edison Bros. Bagels in the city of rich, elderly women, and while in line we ordered bagel-food and two Cool Caps (iced cappuccinos). While eating and waiting for our drinks, we noticed that it was taking quite some time for them to call us to go pick them up; Kim decided to go up to the counter and wait for them, and perhaps ask about them if it seemed like they had been forgotten about. Now is when it all falls apart, ready? GO! The girl at the register comes out from behind the counter and asks Kim "Did you get your Cool Caps yet?" to which she replied "No, not yet." Then the lady gets this annoyed look on her face and says "Well I have NO idea whose these are then!" and then walks out into the seating area and starts calling out "COOL CAPS! I have two cool caps here for pickup!" flustered as if fatigued from the experience. Then Kim asks her: "Sorry did you ask me if I HAD gotten them yet?" and the girl says "Yes, and did you?" ... "No ... not yet." Again, annoyed look and an "I have no idea WHO these belong to" attitude; she then walks back behind the register and starts ringing in orders. So anyway, I didn't understand it one bit. Kim just walked up to another guy and said "Those Cool Caps are mine, thank you." And if that story didn't entertain you (and yes I DID start a sentence with "and", it's legal now so don't hit that second "1" on your phone) then ponder on these few things:

• Swimming environment preference: Ketchup, Spaghetti, Manwich or Mayo? (yes you do have to pick one)
• Can you make up a new letter, and actually have it make sense?
• Can you make up a new number, and actually have it make sense?
• Can you make up a new color, and actually be able to describe it?
• iPos (woops, I mean iPod, probably shouldn't mention what the "s" means in the former) or any other portable music player on "shuffle" mode?
• If you could force any job/career on any person in the world, what job would it be, and to whom would you give it?
• Would you rather create software that works on 50% of computers present day, and 100% of computers in the near future, or 100% of computers present day and 75% of computers in the near future?

... end transmission.

The Real Problem With The Education System

WARNING: This entry is not suited for everyone, and it contains enough tangents in its content that you may need an air sickness bag. It's basically just a rant - a justified one at that, I think. It has become quite clear to me over the past few weeks/months that the corporate heirarchy that exists in the U.S. is rather weighted to one side regarding salary (I will not say all, there are many people that deserve the money they make, and even more) and corporate spending. I read an article tonight on MSN (link) that I found rather frustrating. If you happen to disagree with me, then I apologize that you can't relate. My wife is a teacher, and she is a good teacher. I have had the opportunity on several occasions to witness her during her work day, among many other teachers (I at one point worked as a computer technician for a school she taught at) and I must say that she is no less than an absolutely amazing teacher. Her kids learn much more than they are expected to, they have fun, they grow together and her class is, overall, a community of growth - mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, you name it. Of particular interest to me in the article was the fact that education administrators are within the top 12 paying jobs overall in the U.S. in 2004. Now before you start hitting me with blunt objects, I am not saying that this is such a bad thing; however I have to question why teachers are so poorly paid and drive economy cars, and why the school administrators drive Lexus and Mercedes. Unless you've had your head buried in the sandbox you are no doubt aware of the fact that teachers are poorly paid, period. "But they get two months vacation a year" you might say - no, no they don't, I'm not sure where you got that figure, maybe from the facade of the term "summer vacation" which trust me, is not as much a vacation as you might want to believe; whatever time taken during the summers for relaxation is more than well deserved for teachers' ten- and twelve-hour days during the school year. I have seen ridiculous amounts of money spent on the part of a school to make a name for itself, while sacrificing money in areas most needed - one example that comes to mind is an annual conference at the largest hotel in town, free hotel rooms for teachers, as much wine and cheese as you can fill your face with, additional materials such as bags and books. Another example would be the catered lunches that administration enjoys, no doubt for which payment is taken from the school's petty cash box. I have seen it all, and I have seen enough. Why does this bother me? Teachers are not paid their due. Let me say it again: Teachers are NOT paid their due. I cannot stand, and frankly I get rather upset when my wife tells me that a certain administrator has scheduled a meeting with her to "go over the number of copies she made this month" which, by the way was a note sitting on her lunch tray one afternoon - the same lunch tray she received as recognition for being teacher of the week. "Hey, here you go, you're a great teacher and we want to reward you with a free lunch ... oh and by the way, you made too many copies last month, please schedule a meeting with administration to discuss this." Nice. Are you trying to tell me that the school is justified in spending money liberally in areas NOT related to the children's education? When did the school system become a conglomerate of corporations with presidents and more focus on dress code and fois gras, than education. Oh yeah, and if you think all of those supplies you see in the classroom were bought and paid for by the school, forget it. It's likely that 90% of it was paid for by the teacher out of their own pocket. Teachers are lucky if they get a small budget for their classroom for the year, at least in the schools I have heard about. I can't stand it anymore. I see teachers helpless to do anything because of the power of a choice few people up at the front or sitting at their desks at the county school board office. I see administrators bending to the whim of parents without consideration of the opinions or feelings of their own employees - the teachers, and ultimately costing the teachers more time, more of their own personal money, and creating more work every day. Happy teacher of the week award - don't make so many copies next month. Give me a break, smarten up.