Am I Part Gorilla Or Something?

I think I am the wrong shape, or I am disproportioned. My dilemma is that a medium-sized shirt fits me really well, so well in fact that it makes me look really cool (no matter what shirt it is). However, when washed, it will shrink, and ergo, I will not look so cool (in fact, I just look like a fat guy trying to fit into smaller clothes in an attempt to bandage my ego.) So, I wear large shirts, which are too big sometimes. Sometimes after I wash them, they shrink to the perfect size, other times, they do not shrink at all and they are a bit big. Better big than small though, right? Yet another thing that haunts me is that I have recently discovered that my arms are too long (OR, everyone else's arms in the world are too short) because every long-sleeved shirt I buy has arms that are about an inch too short. The one I'm wearing today isn't too bad however. I do have one that looks like those girl-midsleeve-shirts, and I love the shirt, but I can't wear it due to the sleeve length; people throw things at me when I do. Should really make a note to calculate the mean and standard deviation of arm lengths for people in the UniteARGH!! STATISTICS get out of my HEAD!!! THE END