Some Things You May Not Know About Me

I'd like to tell you some things about me that you probably don't know, and would have otherwise been afraid (perhaps deathly) to ask. Please enjoy reading from this list:

• We have this toilet at work, and well, sometimes it doesn't flush properly; if you even so much as blow your nose and put the tissue in the toilet and press the flush lever, it makes noise, and the water spins around in circles (counter-clockwise as we are situated North of the equator). And then, after all that, it just keeps spinning and spinning and never goes anywhere - sometimes it takes 3 or 4 attempts. Also, our water pressure for the toilet is really low, so it takes about five minutes for the tank to refill and collectively, it's not unheard of to spend 15 minutes in there. So, while I am waiting, I make stupid faces and sexy-me GQ poses in the mirror, or I practice karate, or I stare at myself in the mirror, annoyed, wishing the toilet was a pet so I could scold it.
• When I'm driving on the interstate, I'm one of those annoying individuals that will sometimes cut in front of people who I think are "driving too fast". It's not so much that they are driving fast actually, but more so that they're driving recklessly, and well, stupidly - even I have been known to hit the 90mph mark. So, I cut in front of them as if to say "Hey, I'm the law, and it's MY road, if you want to drive like a buffoon, go get your own interstate". And when people do that to me, oooooh I tell you what, watch it crazies.
• As long as I can remember, ever since I was probably 0 years old, I have had this recurring song in my head which I am sure I have never once heard. The interesting thing about this song is that the words are just "baby, baby baby baby, baby ... etc." and there are no other lyrics. And often I find that when I am singing another song in my head, I replace many of the words with the word "baby". I don't know why I do it, but I would be willing to bet I have said that word more than anyone has ever said any other word in the history of words. I should call Guinness Book about this, get me a spot on the back page somewhere.
• I am late for school, every day, every single day, but it's only because I get stuck behind slow drivers all the time. I have an hour-long, 50-mile drive to work, and if I get stuck behind a slow driver for 10 minutes, I literally lose about 20 minutes; there's a lot of margin for error and I seem to be well within that.
• I tend to fall victim to the "scope/feature creep" wrench far, far too often at work. If you don't know what scope creep is, please look it up. If you also are susceptible to this, drop me a comment and let me know, because I feel like I'm the only one.
• I can go to bed at 5AM and wake up at 10AM with no problems (five hours of sleep). However, even if I go to bed at 9PM it is nearly impossible for me to wake up and get out of bed at 6 or 7AM. I don't know why, I get lots of sleep, and I sleep well, but getting up that early, forget it. It's like, painful, and my body feels like I took a bath in novocaine.
• In the winter time, when I'm very cold, loud noises freak me out. They make me shivery and they just seem thousands of times louder.
• I will probably keep going to school until I'm too old to get to class, at which point I will likely take internet courses. By the time that happens I estimate I will have probably 30 degrees in every area imaginable (and some not imaginable, really!).
• I'm very hungry right now and I want a bowl of cereal.
• I have actually eaten chocolate until I was sick, literally.
• I have actually drank coffee until I was sick, literally.
• I'm working on eating mellowcreme pumpkins until I am sick, literally.

So, there you have it. Me, in some sort of shell.