Adrenaline For Sale, I Have Too Much In Stock

Imagine this: It's about 3AM, and you're half asleep, half awake, drifting in and out of that mode of sleep in which you are aware enough to hear everything around you, but asleep enough that none of it makes any sense. The house is completely quiet aside from quiet drops of rain and a gentle breeze against the trees. *BANG* A sudden noise, akin to that of a baseball bat against the steel door of our garage quickens me from the twilight zone I was in, to panic mode and "THERE IS SOMEBODY TRYING TO BREAK INTO THE HOUSE" mode. I just lay there for a minute, listening for the sound to echo through the house again, or for any noise for that matter; my heart about to leap out of my chest for a number of reasons: 1. That noise scared the crap out of me 2. Our house is not very secure 3. We have no alarm system 4. The only phone we have in the house is probably out in the kitchen and I'm not about to press the page button; calling 911 just isn't an option 5. The closest thing I have to a weapon anywhere near me is my XBox, or a lamp, or a pillow All of these thoughts are spinning through my head at an alarming rate, I can't even think, let alone formulate a contingency plan. *BANG* There it goes again, so I jump out of bed, ready at a moment's notice to pounce on an intruder and mangle him while still in my pajamas. Peeking out of the bedroom door, I see the cat in the living room, trying to mate with another cat through the glass panel doors (yes cats really are that stupid - and apparently that noisy). This weekend ... I'm going to WalMart ... and I'm buying a baseball bat ... to keep beside the bed.